Music Teacher resources for violin and piano teachers

Denley Music

A little on the subject of practising and parents…

I found this article on a site called Piano253.com and it expresses what I feel about practising so well.  I feel it is so important to have parents on board with their child’s practise, to check if anything needs to be read or signed, perhaps take notes in your child’s lesson.  I even have parents record their child’s lesson so they can make the most of it.

Let’s face it, parents who expect their children to come to lessons each week unprepared, who would rather stay outside cleaning out their car, who take off during the lessons so they can run errands, who don’t believe in checking that their child is actually practising the right things are simply after a child minding service!

The focus of many parents is that they want their children to enjoy piano lessons and have FUN.  Most children are not going to become piano prodigies, so the main goal is for them to learn a little about music and have fun making music.  They tell their child that lessons will be FUN.   Unfortunately, this is not always the best way to think about lessons because children of today associate “fun” with their other favorite activities and the piano is a lot different.

First, let’s talk about what “FUN” means.  Nowadays, it means something with instant gratification.  The piano takes work and dedication and the end result of being able to play songs you love IS fun, but it takes awhile to get there.  Also, most children do not consider LEARNING to be fun.  I think it’s up to the adults to instill in their children a desire to learn and remind them that the learning process in itself is enjoyable.  During my years of teaching I have noticed that before a lesson parents will say to their child, “Have fun!”  Then after the lesson the first thing they ask their child is, “Did you have fun?”  I think a better question to ask would be, “Did you learn a lot of neat new stuff about music and the piano that you didn’t know before?”   I am not saying that piano lessons, or piano in general, is going to be a drag.  I am simply saying that compared to what our children are used to these days, the piano is not going to be as easily associated with “fun” as their other favorite activities and it is important to recognize this.

At the beginning, from the child’s perspective, lessons usually start out enjoyable.  The songs are easy, there are exciting rewards for doing well, their parents are enthusiastic and interested in their efforts, and there is a patient teacher dedicating 30-45 minutes to them alone one day each week.  However, eventually the child begins to realize that there is a LOT to learn and remember.  For example:  The teacher wants me to hold my hands a certain way but that makes it harder to play the keys.  I can’t memorize all the names of the notes.  She always makes me count out loud and I HATE doing that.  She keeps using these weird music terms and I can never remember what they mean.  Do other kids learn all these words?  Why can’t I?  I must be dumb.  This is hard and I can’t do it.  This is NOT fun.  Why did I think piano would be fun?  Mom said it would be fun.  This is turning out to be worse than I thought.

Children 10 and younger are not able to think long term and plan ahead for the next lesson.  They will not even think once about piano until the lesson day comes!  Then they realize how uncomfortable they will be at the lesson when they cannot play anything and they don’t know the answers to the teacher’s questions.   If the student would spend just a little bit of time each day working on the things the teacher tells them to, they would gradually improve and be prepared for the next lesson.  But once you get behind, it’s like math class and every difficult thing is compounded.  Either the child will end up stuck on the same piece for 6 weeks or the pieces will become more and more difficult and the child will not be able to play the advancing music.

Mom is too busy working, being a mother to other siblings, being a wife, a friend, a boss, a co-worker, carpooling, managing all the other activities in life, and piano practice does not happen.  Besides, who wants to sit at the piano with their child while they fuss and cry?  Then lesson day comes and the child gets the LECTURE from the teacher about practice and then the LECTURE from the parent in the car.

This is NOT fun,” the child thinks.  “I want to quit.”

So, here is a recap of what we have learned:

1)  Parents may think that if piano lessons are taken just for “fun” that it is not necessary to make their child practice.

2)  The majority of children will not practice without parental supervision.

3)  When the student does not practice, piano lessons become stressful and definitely NOT FUN.

4)  When practice is not productive then there is no progress and this results in frustration for both teacher and student.  A frustrated student will not find lessons to be fun and the child will beg to quit.

How can we remedy this cycle?  First, we must be aware of it, and second, it is up the PARENT to change the way practice occurs at home.  Here are some more tips regarding practice:

Children will not practice the piano on their own (let alone practice correctly) and it is simply unrealistic to expect any student younger than 13 to do this. If you are worried about your child resenting you for making them practice, or you are afraid they will hate music and the piano, I want you to seriously question those thoughts.  I have had experience myself as a student who started lessons at age 6 and then quit because it was “too hard” and my mom let me quit.  Then I wanted to take lessons again when I was 13 and I had to beg my mom to let me!  At that age I was ready to practice on my own.  But I always regret how many years I wasted because I was allowed to quit.  How many famous musicians do you hear complain and have bitterness towards their parents for making them practice?  More often you will hear praise from musicians for their parents making them practice when it was the last thing they wanted to do!

What child is really going to end up “hating” the piano or music?  If you have a musical talent and you are able to play songs you love on the piano, that is not something that will facilitate hatred for the instrument, but instead quite the opposite.  The child will have a greater sense of respect and deeper level of understanding/love for music, the piano, and their talent.

If you think practice is something between the teacher and student and therefore you are not going to get involved, that is not helpful to anyone.  The teacher has no way of making sure the child practices at home.  As the PARENT, you are the only one who can control whether or not practice occurs at home.  A child shouldn’t decide IF they practice any more than they should decide IF they do their homework, or IF they go to bed on time, or IF they brush their teeth, or IF they eat healthy, etc.

One thing I have learned from my experience as a teacher is that there is one common activity that ALL piano students do consider FUN.  What is it, you ask?  GROUP CLASSES!  It’s ok to let out a huge sigh of relief at this point.  There IS something that all children will find automatically fun about the piano, and that is having group classes with their peers.  As a teacher I schedule group classes for every few months and the kids always ask when the next group class is and they look forward to it a great deal.  This time bonding with their piano peers is a great way to keep them motivated and enjoying lessons.

I sincerely hope that you have found this information helpful and I wish you all the best of luck!  Remember:

The more you practice, the better you will become; the better you become, the more you will enjoy playing and the more you will practice, the more you practice, the better you will become, the better you become, the more you will enjoying playing and the more you will practice……..


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